dont let the title fool you, this has been one of the worst weeks of my life. ever! now i know, none of these entries lately have been very nice, but im not really caring lately. Now, this is the first anyone is to hear of this, but i was going to go and see about getting some help...not an easy thing for someone with my pride to agree to...at all...and i still think i need it, but with someonelike my nanna around, who needs help? just make a mistake, let her bitch at you and she will find "exactly whats the matter with you" in my case, im a selfish little girl, who does things for spite...even little mistakes, i do them out of spite...figure that one out...i suppose i should give a little bit of background to this story, lets go back, back to monday afternoon.


Monday: my nanna gets home from my aunts house, normal fine what ever, and she beckons me into the room, "I thought i asked you to stay home saturday night" "no you said that if i could stay home if possible you would greatly appreciate it" "what was the issue that you HAD to go out?" "well martins mom already had supper in the oven so we went had dinner and came back" "I ASKED YOU TO STAY HOME!" and it went from there...

now i dont remember if the rest happened monday night, or if it was tuesday...i think it was still monday...so lets continue with our story shall we??

later this night my nanna decided to yell at me somemore, i dont really care if i get yelled at. that i can handle, however when iam told that i dont give a shit about my grandpa, my SISTER, or my nanna, then i get upset...very upset, she was going on about how CLEARLY i dont care about anyone but myself, and that was made clear when i went out with my bf on saturday...that is when i start yelling back, granted by now im crying, this is a regular occurence lately by the way...and try as i might i still bawl my eyes out, this im letting you know, only makes my nanna angrier....lucky me...and she starts asking me questions, like, why i would do it, and the like, and all i can say is "i dont know" becuase i dont, she has come to the conclusion, that i dont care, and am trying to kill her, finally it got down to her asking me if i wanted to be an adult, and i told her flat out, "no" there was alot of stutterind and repeating in saying it but i got it out, i dont want to be an adult, i dont, i want to be a kid, i had to be an adult way to soon...then she started in saying that if i want to be treated like a child she will treat me like one, at one point she said that since i cant handle a bf work and school i need to drop one and i need money, i need to get an education, its gotta be the bf, then we started talking more and im still crying this is over the span of about 2 hours collectivly by the way, my popa comes out about 930 i guess and starts to talk to me, and he said...if it was him he would go and get a little apartment, just him, and live there, and of course, i would love that, but i cant do that yet, and my nanna said, she cant do that dave she isnt responsible enough yet. to which i of course agreed because im not...and finally we get to the root of things, i had no idea why she was freaking out at me, and i told her so, so she explained, and she realized that i misunderstood what she told me, she accepted that, and what she was mad at is that i said 8 and it was 9, that was it, allthat for an hour...we agreed to start over, no lies, and if i do one thing wrong my saturdays go to 8...



NOW onto this morning...i get up, its 630, i get washed get sam up, my nanna has chemo today, she needs to leave at 8, sam is almost done eating its 5 to 7 she freaks out because i didnt get sam up at 630, when she "told me specifically to get her up at 630" first off no she didnt, i asked, am i getting sam up? *she had a dentist appointment today thats why i asked* she said yes, and that she needed to be in the bathroom by 715 cuz she had to leave at 8...fine...whatever, now apparently i did this all out of spite because she grounded me before, and that im a bitch and nothing that anyone else needs to do doesnt matter so long as i am done, now you all know me well enough to know thats not true...apparently im doing things and hadling things in a sick way, and i work exactly like my mother, and shes so dissapointed in me, and since i dont want responsibility sam will have to be the 18 yr old and im the 14 year old, im not allowed to touch the alarm clock, apparently on days iwork i cant see martin, this is all as of 730 this morning btw...shes a fucking psycho....


now, as for the help, she said on monday that i need it, and monday afternoon i had already reached that conclusion, and i told her so...she said that she thinks her on my ass all the time is PART of my problem, as of this morning i have decided its ALL of my problem...

so in conclusion, i dont need to go see the doctor, i can just let my nanna yell at me, she will tell me exactly whats wrong with me...and i cant do a single thing right, im nothing but a lazy, spiteful, selfish bitch of a little girl...any questions? feel free to send your inquiries to my nanna, no doubt she can answer them much better than i can...good day to you all...